In critique groups, we occasionally step on each others toes. Understandable sometimes. We’re all eager to improve and are all striving to understand how to make our work better. In doing so, we often ask burning questions that challenge. This week, a fellow writer asked me why I wasn’t doing certain things in my writing that are mentioned in his how-to-write books.

When do we follow the rules and when don’t we follow the rules?

There’s a fine line between being unique for unique’s sake and knowing what you’re doing in breaking the rules. Voice is our own, and sometimes voice happens when rules are bent a little. But the problem is, you have to know the rules first so you know when it’s strategic to bend them . . . and aren’t perceived as a novice not knowing what she’s doing.

All too many times I’ve heard unpublished writers say, “Rules are made to be broken.” Not only are they a walking-talking cliche, but they are broadcasting that they are not comfortable with the rules.

How-to books are good…to a point. We all need to read a handful. However, I find more education in reading good books that have gone before mine, via authors who’ve made their mark in the world, than someone telling me how to do it. The old SHOW DON’T TELL works here, too.

Osmosis is a remarkable subtlety that takes place when we immerse ourselves in well-written stories. I even go so far as to say that we learn more by reading excellent works in the genre we write than any class or how-to book on the market. I’d rather spend an hour reading remarkable writing than sitting an hour in a classroom or an hour highlighting text in a how-to.

Too often, we fear the DOING part of our work. 

We want to know all there is about how to do it before we start. We hate making mistakes. We hate appearing the novice. We want to know the terminology and recognize verb tense, point of view and head-hopping so we slide into a writers group and appear knowledgeable. We want to be able to sling terms around like Internal Monologue or Beat like we’ve known it all our lives. When is a prologue acceptable? What are the rules so we aren’t caught with our pants down when challenged by others who ask why we didn’t follow them?

I taught a group one time in which a woman bragged about having 28 how-to books on her shelf and got excited when she found a new one. Her favorite reading was how-to-write books. And she’s never published a single book of her own. She said she didn’t want to start until she’d learned how to do it properly.

Quit trying so much to be the writer. Try harder to write.

Personally, I think voice is the most important part of a story, not which part of the book certain things are supposed to happen. The minute I spot A Hero’s Journey in a book, I’m done with it. Too predictable. Give me a good, well-honed, creative voice all day long, and I’ll be patient to see how the story unfolds. And voice only comes from hundreds of thousands of words you’ve written, edited, and thrown away to find the gems worth keeping. And how-to books don’t give you those.

As I ran through my emails today, I noted an abundance of LinkedIn, infomercial and Facebook messages making the same mistake. “____ being released today. Click here to check it out.”

One was a service, several were books, a few were new websites, possibly belonging to authors, but the common thread through them all was that they sold something and wanted me to buy it . . . without telling me much about what it was.

Sorry, if you want me to follow you, you need to sweet-talk me, and make me want you.

Like a John seeking a hooker, from a collection of hookers, I’m a customer who needs wooing and enticement. Even though I know you’re trying to coax me, I still want you to go through the motions . . . and do it extremely well. Entice me. Become a Siren, calling the sailor in.

Sure, I know what you’re doing. You’re artfully attempting to get me to buy your book, service, etc., and I know that. But I want to play the game. I want you to tell me why you’re so good, why your story is magnetic, why what you do for me will be memorable.

But to just ask me to hand you my money without dancing the dance is like a stranger coming up to you saying, “Hey, write me a check and I’ll give you this.” No personality, no friendliness, no customer service.

If you want me, you have to earn me. Make me want to read more of your story by showing me enough to suck me in. We all know that showing is better than telling, and if you don’t even tell, you’ve lost from the outset.

While in St Louis, Missouri at the Missouri Writers Guild Conference a week ago, I was asked if I would do an impromptu interview…on podcast. They struggled with it being live, and recorded it instead. They put it out three days later. I caught myself wincing throughout watching it.

Then I realized that was The Shy Writer talking to herself. Afraid of something different.

My environment is online, in newsletters, on Twitter, on Facebook, and on blogs. It’s all about the words I type, and has little to do with my age, looks, voice, or ability to speak intelligently. So when I was pulled into the motel bar, sat on a sofa, and sat smiling clueless as the interviewer set up his laptop on a table and read questions off his phone, I had no clue what to do. 

In The Shy Writer Reborn, I talk all about being prepared. Preparation takes away the uneasiness, or at least a major part of it. I was clueless what was about to come at me, so I had to purely wing it…adlib…off the top of my head. Add to that the vague idea where to look or who to smile at, and I sat there nervous as a cat in a room full of rocking chairs.

Sooner or later, when you are a writer in a public setting, you will be caught unawares. Just do your best and rock on. What could I have done if this went badly?

1) I could have asked the interviewer to scratch the interview.

2) I could have asked the interviewer to give me questions and reschedule the interview to a time I was better prepared.

3) I would have asked the interviewer to forward me the podcast before he released it, so I could ask him to delete a section or two.

But “went badly” is relative. As I endured the interview, as brief as it was, I told myself these lessons, straight out of The Shy Writer Reborn:

1) What if I wasn’t afraid right now? (i.e., If I wasn’t afraid, I’d smile, answer questions, and do okay.)

2) After this is over. (i.e., After this is over, I can change into my sweats and kick back on my king-sized motel bed with Roo cuddled against me.)

3) I’m really okay. (i.e., This podcast is minor, and unless I stumble all over myself in embarrassing manner, it will not only be okay, but will be a nice marketing tool.)

Suddenly, I was done with the interview, and I didn’t screw up too badly, and I didn’t come apart. And I was glad I endured it. That’s the thing about introverts who learn to step into the public eye. They are jittery inside, but they develop manners that keep them collected.

Then later…go have a big stuff drink! LOL

I’m a staunch advocate of writing daily. Of course, where there’s a mindset of doing something creative every day, there’s another saying wait for the muse. But I’ve yet to run into a successful artist or writer who practiced the latter, waiting for the right moment to write.

So when I speak to groups and suggest strongly that they write every day, I meet with resistance. Everybody’s days are already full, and they let me know with eye-rolling, head shaking, flat-lined mouths and a bit of whining. Then I see those people who are still anxiously waiting for me to help them figure out how to do it. Those are the people I look at as I continue with my advice to do the following:

1) Write 10 minutes each day. 

What you’re striving for is the habit. Thinking you need a huge chunk of time is self-defeating because a habit doesn’t start drastically. When you change your exercise or eating habits, those experts tell you not to change your entire set of life habits overnight. You can squeeze ten minutes into any day, even making yourself do it before you go to bed. Soon you’re looking forward to it, and you stretch it to fifteen….then thirty. Suddenly you realize you can’t do without it.

2) Mark off the days.

Jerry Seinfield has a well-known writing habit that makes him develop his material on a steady basis, constantly improving. He suggests a writer post a calendar with the entire year shown on it (not a monthly or weekly calendar). Then, as the writer fulfills his writing goal (i.e., 10 minutes, 500 words, one chapter) he marks off that day with a big red marker. Soon he sees his habits. And he realizes quickly when he’s sliding. And he strives to make red X’s closer together on a regular basis.

3) Carry a notebook.

Whether it’s electronic or paper, carry a notebook, taking each spare moment to jot down a thought. It serves as a prompt for you to view the world through a writer’s eye, and as that revelation comes to you, you pull out your device or paper and write it down. Sure, you’ll go back and delete/cross-through a lot of them, but you’ll also preserve some nugget to embellish and expand upon . . . an idea that would have evaporated into the air if you hadn’t written it down.

Now….how hard is that? All are doable. And all gradually take you from a stop-and-go writer to a diligent one who starts seeing development and improvement in his work. Good luck!

Let me know if you do any of these. Or let me know if you have a successful habit of your own!

YOU NEED TO WRITE. You’ve penciled stories since you were nine. Or you’ve reached a stage in your life where that book screams to come out. Writing has gestated inside of you for far too long. But the fear of what’s before you is scary.

You’ve sweated over that story for ages, but you still aren’t sure it’s good enough. You’re not keen on criticism and rejection. What if you’ve struggled over your writing for naught?

Or you feel great about your writing, but lose sleep over pitching, querying, and especially, developing a platform. Such a learning curve! Pinterest, Facebook, blogs, and who cares about Twitter?

You are a shy writer . . . I know what you’re thinking.

Can’t you just write? Aren’t there people out there willing to do all this promotional gymnastics for you? And nope, you draw the line at standing before a crowd.

Maybe writing isn’t worth all this trouble. People expect you to be a used-car salesman, and you did not bargain for this. What’s the point of writing if you don’t know how to sell the end result without sacrificing your integrity, your soul?

You have a fear of some aspects of our profession, and it’s probably holding you back. You do not know how to act, perform, or sell because so many of these actions are not normal for you . . . the introverted writer.

Introversion may seem like a major obstacle to building a successful writing career, but this wonderful “covers-all-the-bases” book handily debunks the notion. Highly recommended.
~Peter Bowerman, Author “The Well-Fed Writer” series, www.wellfedwriter.com

You do not enjoy being extroverted. I don’t either. That’s why I wrote The Shy Writer Reborn. It’s not a drama manual or a mental adjustment how-to that makes you something you are not. This is a book to help you deal with the world of writing in your own fashion. It’s a book to show you that it’s natural to feel like you do . . . to show you there are others feeling the same.

You do not have to speak at conferences. You do not have to be embarrassed at a signing. You do not have to hold up your book and yell, “Great new mystery. Half off price for two days only.”

Or you might have a desire to do these things, but don’t feel comfortable in how to start.

 Hope has solutions in The Shy Writer Reborn that let you make the most of who you are instead of asking you to change your personality.
~Linda Formichelli, owner of The Renegade Writer Blog (http://www.therenegadewriter.com) and co-author of The Renegade Writer: A Totally Unconventional Guide to Freelance Writing Success

 

Your personality is your personality. You write because you love writing, and you equally enjoy the alone time required to do it right. You do not have to sacrifice yourself to fit someone else’s mold of a writer . . . or salesman. Challenge is good for growth, but agony is unhealthy. The comfort level is yours to define.

Remain loyal to yourself while maneuvering in the writing arena without so much of a social weight around your neck. Learn how to manage during times you need to make appearances you cannot avoid. Deal with agents and editors without biting your nails or sweating through your clothes.

C. Hope Clark shares how to overcome that fear while navigating interviews, pitches, queries, and more. She even finishes the book with a great set of mantras! If you’re a shy writer, this is the book that will help you find and cultivate an audience for your writing.
-Robert Lee Brewer, Senior Content Editor, Writer’s Market

 

What I won’t tell you is to get over being shy. You only hear that from people who aren’t shy. Well, you’re introverted, and that’s a good thing in so many ways. As one of you, I fought the fears as well. I still wrestle with self-esteem when asked to speak at a conference, when pitching an article, and when discussing edits on my latest novel.

It’s harder to pretend to be something you’re not. Enjoy being a writer . . . and enjoy being you. These days, being real is the most marketable commodity of all.

I’m a fan of the website “Daily Good,” and recently they posted a piece entitled “Sustainable Happiness? Six Ways to Get There.”  I agreed with most, some so-so, but when I reached “Make Your Own Happy List,” I perked up.

At first it seems simple. List all the things, people and places that make you happy. It’s a worthy exercise, making you focus on what makes the world spin better for you. Nice to know. Nice goal to have – being happy. But it goes further, and of course I saw this as a writing lesson.

1. Make a list of what makes you happy about life. People, places, things, hobbies, actions, holidays…you name it.

2. Make a list of what makes you happiest about writing. Being alone, obtaining a byline, money, a book on a shelf, the freedom of expression…you name it.

3. Mark next to each item how long it’s been since you engaged in that expression of happiness.

4. Study each item in terms of sustainable happiness. Which items keep you happy? Make others happy? Aid the world? Also, which items don’t make you happy, or are detrimental to others?

Sustainable happiness means actions that reverberate into the world, making it better. Some of what you do has no impact on others, and you’ll notice those as you try to stretch the definition of happy to fit them. You’ll also find yourself at times playing martyr, where depleting yourself is for the betterment of others. Be careful of that, because when exercising something on the list means there’s less of you, it’s never good.

Look at the items on your Happy List that rank the highest. If they don’t create chaos or hurt others, then you’ve found a solid sustainable happy item. Plan for it. Keep it foremost in your daily ritual.

There’s something about being happy that makes success happen. Either that or we’re too busy being happy that success doesn’t feel quite so urgent.

Every novelist wants the reader to relate to a character . . . or at least be entertained enough by him to stick with the story. In other words, there’s a connection. But what about a character makes him appealing to the reader?

1. Commonality.

The reader sees himself in the character. They think alike, behave similarly, have the same job, have a job the reader wishes he had, lives in the same state, town, country. They hold onto the same dreams. They shared the same trauma. I dare say commonality draws the most readers to a character, especially a character that repeats throughout a series.

2. Aspiration.

The reader wishes he were that character. He wishes he had similar personality. Or he wishes he had the guts to do the character’s profession (i.e., James Bond). Or he wishes he had the education, the financial means, or the ability to travel the world. The reader clicks between his dream and the character’s life, or he hopes to pull himself out of his real-life dilemma and become more like the character.

3. Escapism.

The reader has no desire to be the character, but he wants to escape and for a few hours be daring, destitute, creative, romantic, dashing, gorgeous, thin, athletic, intelligent or big-hearted. I love Nevada Barr’s novels, but I do not desire to be a park ranger. I enjoyed Stephanie Plum for a while, but never cared to move north to New Jersey. I’ve been reading a new series by Glen Allison, the protagonist named Al Forte, a special forces kind of guy in New Orleans who saves endangered children through his organization, and in the process saves pieces of himself.  http://www.torturedhero.com/  I’ll never move to New Orleans, and I’ve never been in law enforcement, but I love what Forte stands for and what he accomplishes which exposing his soul.

If you’re a reader, you know what I mean. That book has to connect in one of these three ways. What the reader doesn’t realize is that the author has to paint these personalities, settings, behaviors and events so that the reader is successful connecting to the character. That means good writing so that the reader is swept away, not slogging through writing that still needs work.

If you’re a writer, you also know what I mean. Your writing has to be invisible as the reader engages. If he sees your writing, he loses that connection. But…what you should also see here is that you will not connect with every reader. Someone might dislike the South and never want to read my Carolina Slade books, or a reader might be put off by the family life I weave into her world instead of leaving her entrenched solely in the mystery. Someone might dislike her occasional bout of cursing or her evening bourbon.

Bottom line….good writing attracts the most readers. Our characters have to be solid, three-dimensional, and seamless. No trips. No stumbles. No . . . writers won’t please everyone, but they want to please as many as possible. It’s hard enough matching readers to characters, so don’t throw them into half-baked writing that’s noisier than the character the reader’s trying so hard to relate to.

(NOTE: Tidewater Murder comes out in mid-April for those who love to relate to Carolina Slade.)

Every morning I awaken to many, many emails. Okay, I don’t wake up until ten but still, I sit down around eleven to a lot of messages. Many are blog post notifications I receive via email, like reading the morning paper. Others, however, are from individuals in need of something. A grant, a contest, a publisher, all of the above. I adore personal correspondence. I love mail. I love meeting new people and helping them with their problems.

That’s what’s so wonderful about being online . . . the resources. We can do a search, locate options for what we need, fill out a form or query. We can do it multiple times. We can do it every morning. Heck, we can hunt for what we need at three o’clock in the morning, if we like. We do so much that we easily forget one major thing. . .

There’s a human being on the other end.

While electronic communication has simplified so much of our lives, it also has a tendency to sterilize them. Before you hit send, stop and read your message aloud and ask yourself if the person receiving it will see it as professional and will feel respected you took the time to address him as if he were seated across a table from you.

Here’s how we make mistakes communicating online:

1. We hit send too soon. The message is wrought with errors. Sentences aren’t clear or cut off. No subject, or one that might not grab a person’s attention strongly enough to even open it. If it’s a query or application, you might prepare a first or second draft and just shoot it off into the Ethernet, thinking the person on the other end won’t notice . . . or care.

2. We forget it’s two-way. In today’s world we ship out info, we receive info, but we rarely hold an honest conversation. Particularly if we’re online doing it. “Hey, I want to be your proofreader. Look forward to hearing from you.” No website, no list of credentials, no publishing credits, not even a blog to clue in the reader on the other end.

3. Here I am; what have you got? Some emails that come to me simply say they want a grant for their very important book. Others say they have a manuscript and want me to place it with a publisher or agent. When we make inquiries, we type so quickly we forget the person on the other end doesn’t know us. In real life, if we sought information from a person, we’d make an introduction, explain what we do, and ask for assistance, leaving contact information at the end, maybe exchanging cards. Maybe some social niceties sprinkled in. Imagine walking up to someone you’ve never met before and using the same words as you type. What would be their impression? No introduction, no references, no thought to manners. Everyone loves receiving correspondence from real people ( in lieu of list serves and robots). So make it a real letter.

Who doesn’t adore what electronic communication has done for us? Oh my gosh, opportunities abound today as compared to as simple as ten years ago. So many chances, so much information, so many people with advice, products and services to aid our quality of life. Publishers, editors, agents, peers, bookstore managers, computer support, conference contacts, and yes, fans and readers. Just remember they are just that . . . people. Treating them like humans instead of vending machines might just earn you a close acquaintance, and a networking opportunity that will aid you down the road.

Humans are known for procrastination. Frankly, it’s the non-procrastinators in the population that draw attention and are considered successful. They didn’t pause. They didn’t wait. They didn’t decide that time had to be perfect, the stars aligned and everyone holding hands singing Kumbayah before stepping into life.

Sometimes you just do it.

You’re writing a book. You need a blog. You think you need the book to start the blog, to give yourself credibility. But you haven’t completed the book. Just start the friggin’ blog and commit to it! Own it! No, you may not know everything there is to blogging, but you will.

Sometimes you just do it . . . because you are then forced to learn how. 

You have this story in mind, You’re afraid to write it. You think about publishing because that seems more tangible with all those rules and websites and steps posted on blogs. But you haven’t finished the story. Sometimes it’s by writing our story that we learn how to write, and how much of the story is worth the telling. Or even if it’s worth telling at all!

Sometimes you just do it . . . because by the time you get done, you’ve taught yourself how.

You finally write a story draft. You get it critiqued. You hire an editor. You attend classes and workshop this manuscript. It was hard, and you’re probably not satisfied with the product. So you start another story. It’s amazing how you know to avoid passive voice now, how you open with a more profound statement. You recognize backstory. You realize when dialogue is stilted, or there’s too little white space on the page.

Go ahead and leap. Learn to fly on the way down. You’ll hit obstacles, get bruised and possibly land on your face. That’s fine. Because you’ll crawl back up and leap again, only this time with more sense. The next time with more skill. And ultimately, after doing it over and over again, with finesse.

Yes, just do it. But realize that the finesse comes from doing it A LOT.

Yes, I’ve been sneaky with this one, but the day is just about here and I couldn’t wait to speak up. I adore this cover. I adore this subject. And if there’s one topic I can honestly say I adore speaking about, it’s about being a shy writer. The Shy Writer Reborn: An Introverted Writer’s Wake-up Call will be out later in March, and I wanted to give you a heads up before I exploded with enthusiasm.

And did I say I love this cover?

For years people have loved The Shy Writer, a little book I put out via Booklocker.com in 2004. I wrote it in a fit of frustration, then made myself edit it for several months before releasing it. I’ve yet to speak at an event that I haven’t met a writer touched by it. So this past year, when writing groups started asking me to talk about introverted writers and their quests to publish, I listened, wondering if a sequel was in order. After all, The Shy Writer is almost ten years old!

But it wasn’t until I presented at a small conference and had dinner with a literary agent that I took the project seriously. Mr. Brooks Sherman is mentioned in my acknowledgements for being the final catalyst that made me open a new file in Word and start pounding away on the keys to create The Shy Writer Reborn.

That’s all I’m saying for now. Keep watch on this blog and the FundsforWriters.com newsletters for the release.

Oh how I love this cover!